Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I used to fall asleep most nights like a baby...asleep in 10 minutes after hitting the pillow. The past year and half has brought me much sleep anxiety, with a broken relationship looming, and then finally coming to pass. Over the course of a year, I went from being a good sleeper, one who could fall asleep 10 minutes after a movie started no matter what time of day it was, to a stressed, bitter, anxious sleeper who relies on pills to get to sleep. Each night, I take my blue pill...Lunesta. Most nights, I get a good solid 6 hours out of it. Other nights, it's as if I never took it. Some day, I believe I will sleep again. On my own. Without aids. And with much bliss. Until then, all hail the blue pill.

Monday, October 11, 2010

For me to make a difference in the world means to first make a difference in me. I need to understand my passion and my pain, my fears, my strengths, my joy, my convictions, and my weaknesses. I remember often as a child my mother saying love yourself first, Kristi. Only now does it completely ring true. Start from the source. When you are whole, the tree can grow and expand and change lives. Until then, nothing of substance.
I believe my passion is in making a difference to other people. I've felt my strongest and weakest, my most passionate, when I've held a goal to help people become better, to learn sportsmanship, how to work hard, how to win, and more importantly, how to lose.